JJ Solari: When Bikers Meet Humans: Home

Welcome to my new and unimproved website.

This website is devoted to hawking my book "When Bikers Meet Humans - socially unredeeming tales of species in collision." I know what you you are saying: "Why should I buy that book? It looks stupid." Well I will tell you why you should buy it: you should buy it because i was once a Mouseketeer. Reason enough, ey? I knew you would agree. I know what you're saying: "Wow, Did you fuck Annette?" No. No I did not fuck Annette. I was 12. You see, I was not a Mouseketeer when I was 47. Which is an age I might have actually fucked Annette. If I had gone to the trouble of pursuing Annette for the purposes of fucking her. And assuming Annette would have had any kind of desire at all to fuck me in the first place. Which is highly unlikely. Unless she had been drunk. Which is when most women take a notion to fuck me. If they are ever going to fuck me at all. That is usually when they do it. When they are drunk. But I was not 47. I was 12. 12 years old. You don't go and fuck the most popular person in America when you are TWELVE FUCKING YEARS OLD YOU DUMBASS FUCKING FUCK!!! I know what you are saying; "Couldn't you just lie and SAY that you fucked Annette? And then create some sort of hot erotic tale to tell about it so that i could get a vicarious boner? And then ejaculate jizz all over the cat's face? Which is what I do?" Well, let me think about that, no one has ever asked me that before. Usually all they ask me is Did you fuck Annette? And then after I say no, the next question is, for some reason, Was being a Mouseketeer fun? To which I would have to answer "Was being a Mousketeer fun: a kind of simpleminded question but one that in a fair sense might be deserving of some sort of an answer, as stupid a question as it might be. Because you see, first you have to ask yourself is ANY kind of a 9 to 5 job 'fun'? Probably not. Unless it is the job of hand-washing the hot oil off of naked erotic Japanese massage actresses. And I was never called upon to do that as a Mouseketeer. However when I was an altar boy I was once asked to wash the hot oil off a priest's cock. Did I agree to actually do it? Well that depends on what you mean by "did." To get back to your question though, I would not say that the job was 'fun.' I would say it was more like always being at an airport and hurrying to catch your plane for 8 hours a day five days a week. Is that fun? No it is not fun, but it is not funLESS either. It is just necessary; if you want to really be on the plane, it's just something you have to do. Or else you don't get to where you want to go. Which is home at the end of the day so that you can get some rest for the next day's plane-catching. That's what being a Mouseketeer was like. So was being a Mouseketeer fun? It was no more or no less fun than anything else I did at 12 years old. It just paid better than anything else I did at 12 years old. I know what you are thinking; "So, how much did they pay you?" My take-home pay after the government shakedown allowances was $185 a week. For 6 months."So tell me again why I should buy your book just because you were a Mouseketeer who did not fuck annette and did not find the job fun?" I have no idea now, i got so sidetracked. Maybe it aint really all that good of an idea; you seem like kind of a fuckhead. On the other hand my audience is filled with fuckheads. For some reason. I hope all of this has been helpful to you and thank you for taking my call.